Church Acquires Walker Center Weather Forecaster

SALT LAKE CITY—For as long as most Salt Lakers can remember, the neon light atop the 16-story Walker Center building has shined blue when the weather forecast is clear and red when the forecast calls for snow or rain.

At part of the LDS Church’s ongoing downtown expansion, the Church has acquired the weather forecaster. Effective immediately, the neon lights now function as an indicator of the city’s current spirituality, according to the following code:

Steady blue: All’s well in Zion.

Blinking blue: People need to stop procrastinating their home and visiting teaching.

Steady red: Too many people are seeing R-rated movies and/or drinking Coke.

Blinking red: Computers are downloading more porn than family history data.

Purple: If a vote were held today on legalizing gay marriage, it would pass.

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