Evil Unable to Attend Party

MAPLETON UT - Bobby Stanton regrets to inform those he invited to his party scheduled for Saturday night that Evil will not be able to make it.

“I tried to invite Evil early,” he said in an interview with the Sugar Beet, “I did everything I could to attract him. I was even planning on spiking the punch, renting a few American Pie movies, and maybe even looking at a few Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues out back. But I guess Evil had other plans.”

Fortunately the Appearance of Evil isn’t doing much that Friday and will come to Stanton’s party in Evil’s place.

“Naturally we had to tone things down if it was only the Appearance of Evil coming. So I’ve got some O’Doules on hand and a couple of Austin Powers movies,” said Stanton, “there is also the distinct possibility of off-color conversation. I’m pretty sure everyone will be able to bless the sacrament the next morning. Sorry about that.”


Anonymous said...

Very funny, but the grammar nerd in me feels compelled to tell you that you need to make this two sentences:

. . . a couple of Austin Powers movies,” said Stanton. “There is . . .

That's a comma splice!

Stephen Carter said...

I'm Stephen Carter's lawyer. He wished me to inform you that he has committed an honorable suicide over this infraction as outlined by the rules of the Modern Language Association. Thank you.

Stephen said...

Very funny posting.

I have to point out that the splice as performed is entirely appropriate for news writing, which this blog apparently is meant to emulate.