Thursday

Gospel Contradiction Revealed by BYU Researchers

PROVO, UT—A recent study by two BYU social scientists shows that two fundamental principles of the gospel are at odds against one another, diminishing the overall effectiveness of the members’ covenants and duties. Charity requires self-sacrifice for the service of others, while the principle of self-reliance requires members to stand on their own two feet.

According to the scientists, these two principles in proximity create a state of mass inertia in the church, causing members to neglect, among other things, their home and visiting teaching. “It’s so simple, I don’t know why it took so long for us to see it,” says Dr. Myra Gaddenburger, the principle researcher in this study.

Dr. Bob Nohls, Gaddenburger’s assistant, indicates that the church has shown some interest in their finding. “They’ve asked us which of the two principles they should downplay,” says Nohls. “If they’re interested in funding another study, we’d be happy to look into it. But right now, it’s too soon to tell.”

3 comments:

simplysarah said...

Bwahaha!

Course Correction said...

Hooray for inertia. Let us pray that Sister Gaddenburger does solve the problem!

Course Correction said...

Ooops. I want to pray that S. Gaddenburger does NOT solve the problem!