CASTLE VALLEY, UT—Only months after the publication of Mormon author Terry Tempest Williams’s new book celebrating her “erotic” relationship with Utah’s deserts, Williams was caught in a compromising position with Mongolia’s Gobi Desert.
Two backpackers reported seeing Williams sensuously running her fingers through the Gobi Desert’s sand and rapturously embracing large rocks. Further investigation turned up some lipstick marks on native wildlife in the area.
News of Williams’s affair with a desert on the other side of the planet has affected the usually upbeat nature of Utah’s deserts. Bob Silas, a ranger in the Goblin Valley area, reported that the giant joshuas seem much droopier since Williams’s indiscretion was revealed.
“And I swear I’ve been seeing Edward Abbey’s ghost peeking in through the camper windows,” Seeger said. “I had to throw my copy of Refuge out the window to get rid of him.”
Williams’s human fans also expressed shock at the scandal. “The relationship Terry had with the Utah deserts in Desert Quartet was so beautiful,” wept Muriel Southby. “What made her wander like this?”