Wednesday

Church Head's Title Now Includes "CEO"

SALT LAKE CITY--The LDS Church has announced that the alternative title for its President is now Prophet, Seer, and Chief Executive Officer.

"As a third tag, 'Revelator' was a little redundant with 'Prophet' and 'Seer'," said church spokesman Charles Yates. "Replacing it with the modern term 'Chief Executive Officer' reflects the President's role today much more accurately."

The spokesman refused to discuss whether the new CEO appelation is accompanied by a CEO-level salary and stock options.

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